For the past few weeks I've had to deliberate and struggle through one of the more difficult decisions in my life. I have been given the unique chance to pursue a PhD program in Engineering at the University of Northeastern in Boston. Not only given the chance - but to actually be paid to do it, ultimately leaving Boston in six years with no loans and a PhD in structural engineering under my belt.
Struggling with this decision might be an understatement.
I consulted friends, family, mentors, myself, and God. For the longest time I really had no idea what choice I would make. I knew God would provide and take care of me either way. I couldn't feel his hand guiding me in particular direction. So I take this decision as a matter of faith.
Faith in my future, in my career, more importantly to the character Christ is developing within me.
The lord has given me a gift with science, I know this. I've been given a degree in physics, the chance to work for NASA, and now a full ride for a PhD in engineering. All paths that would lead to a stable and prosperous future. Financially life would be alright.
But I have grown up with my mother. A teacher. She has been and done so much for me, and I have turned out alright. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want that security. I want my life to be about faith. Trust. Choice. Love. Freedom. I want to live for Christ without anything else in the way.
Looking through this lens. I realized engineering was only on the table because I needed to stabilize my future, to prepare myself for it. No. I want to live in the moment, in faith and trust. I will look to the future, but never with my priorities before the lords.
This weekend gave me so much about why I am happy in Seattle. Why I love it here. Why I am not ready to leave, not just yet. In the very least I would be drawn away from it for anything less than what God has given me through passion. Engineering was not it.
I am in love with Jesus, and look forward to this moment, the next, and the one in which he reveals the next step, the next choice, the next path, the next part - to my amazing journey of faith and trust.
I will be enacting that journey here in Seattle. Or until God moves my passion for Him in another direction -
thank you :)
